{"id":23,"date":"2016-08-15T00:47:45","date_gmt":"2016-08-15T05:47:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/?p=23"},"modified":"2016-08-16T00:17:30","modified_gmt":"2016-08-16T05:17:30","slug":"on-rejection-dejection-and-that-far-off-horizon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/2016\/08\/15\/on-rejection-dejection-and-that-far-off-horizon\/","title":{"rendered":"On Rejection, Dejection, and That Far-Off Horizon"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Photo
Photo credit: netlancer2006<\/a> via Foter.com<\/a> \/ CC BY<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As I\u2019ve heard from more than a few other people, it\u2019s been something of a long year. \u201cPlease stop the world, I\u2019d like to get off\u201d is an altogether easy sentiment to agree with. The headlines more often than not are full of death and dark things, and the common response is to draw in, to huddle on yourself and lose sight of all that hurts.<\/p>\n

Or to lash out.<\/p>\n

But as a favorite musician of mine says, \u201cYou\u2019ve already been here before, you already know where it goes.\u201d* Because when you go fetal, when you restrict your point of view to the small space you will allow under your protecting arms, there is only the downward spiral. The same goes for the tunnel vision of anger\u2014so many open avenues are lost to sight and the anger only builds upon itself.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been much of the lashing out type. It takes quite a bit to get me going, like a bully at one summer camp that kept flicking my fellow cabinmates and me with a rubberband while we tried to sleep, or the neighbor kids that were filling their snowballs with ice and hitting my younger brother with them.<\/p>\n

My tendency is to draw in, to huddle in on myself. Which leads to far too much inaction, sadly enough. And over the past eight months, I have spent too long debating whether working on a blog again is worthwhile, whether it was simply a shouting into a vast cacophony where no one else will ever hear me.<\/p>\n

Then there is my fiction writing, which I worked on every day of the week (with only occasional, short pauses) for three straight years before working on and earning my MFA over two years. Despite trying not to, I still hit that dry patch so many do after completing their creative writing degree, a combination of overwork from those four fast-paced semesters (while I was teaching full time) and a heavy teaching load.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m well past that and any valid excuses for why I\u2019ve only been occasionally working on stories for the past year. So what\u2019s the problem? Why can\u2019t I do what I was doing before?<\/p>\n

Part of it\u2019s the rhythm. When you get yourself used to writing every day (or at certain times throughout the week), you feel weird when you don\u2019t. I\u2019d actually get a bit grouchy when I didn\u2019t work, like a caffeine addict without a needed daily dose of java. On top of that, though, is that I\u2019m tired of rejections. I know how hard it is to be published (I read for magazines myself), but it\u2019s difficult not to feel a weariness when another form response arrives in the mailbox (or the inbox)\u2026 even the notes that compliment the submission and aren\u2019t just the standard rejection don\u2019t give a thrill like they used to. The rejections that particularly hurt are the ones that take a matter of days to turn you down. I don\u2019t want them to take over a year to get back to me (which has happened!), but yeesh, at least let me feel good about the submission for a couple weeks. It might be silly, but having the work out there feels good\u2014you\u2019re at least trying.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s what is stupid about all this foot dragging: I know how to combat this weariness I\u2019ve been dealing with. The only thing that keeps you going is to keep creating, to keep offering stories to magazines (and querying agents). Because 100% of the things not submitted are not published, as they say\u2014no matter how lame that sometimes sounds when you\u2019re swimming the gray-dark sea of rejection\u2014and you\u2019re also not just in this for some magazine to publish your stuff. Yes, you want to share it, you want others to read it. But you\u2019re writing because you have something to say. It doesn\u2019t matter how loud and full of voices media and society seem to be\u2014there are things not being noticed, things not being valued, and you need to stand up for them, to let them have their moment in the sun.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s what this blog is going to be. As best I can, I\u2019m going to make it a brighter spot on the internet, no matter how small a nook it occupies, no matter how few readers it collects. I\u2019m going to talk about writing and stuff that I think is important (nature and education and art and living and laughing and so much else), but I\u2019m also going to review books, movies, and maybe even games, because that\u2019s what I\u2019m into. But when I do it, I\u2019m not going to be one of those people that seem to revel in finding the nastiest ways to put down a creative effort.<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not going to avoid pointing out shortcomings in what I\u2019m reviewing, but I\u2019m going to do my best to be generous, to see what the creator was trying to do. And appreciate it for that. It is possible, no matter how much the snark out there on youtube and reviewing sites makes it seem like it can\u2019t be done.<\/p>\n

More, I\u2019m going to do my best to point out the good things I\u2019m seeing in the world\u2014be it what people are doing, saying, creating, or something in the natural world itself. Maybe things that people are even missing.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m going to share what I did with my writing every week. Maybe it\u2019ll lead me to share something interesting about the process, maybe I\u2019ll just say \u201cthis week was terrible and needed to be done on Monday, but at least I got this story finished.\u201d And that will be okay, because I\u2019ll be reminding myself and anyone that cares to notice that it\u2019s worth trying, that it\u2019s worth keeping your eyes on the far off, hopeful horizon and avoiding the downward spiral of depression and hate.<\/p>\n

*Thank you, Dessa<\/a>, for that line. Mineshaft 2 is all too applicable here as well.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I\u2019ve heard from more than a few other people, it\u2019s been something of a long year. \u201cPlease stop the world, I\u2019d like to get off\u201d is an altogether easy sentiment to agree with. The headlines more often than not are full of death and dark things, and the common response is to draw in, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,8],"tags":[11,15,14,12,13],"class_list":{"0":"post-23","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-musings","7":"category-writing-life","8":"tag-dessa","9":"tag-mineshaft-2","10":"tag-rejection","11":"tag-writing","12":"tag-writing-life","13":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions\/30"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gilbertredman.com\/bigfrickingswede\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}